Being a mom isn't easy. It doesn't come to you overnight, everyday brings new challenges, new questions, new concerns. Devan doesn't care if I'm tired at 5:30am and he's hungry. Caden doesn't understand why I can't get out of the shower to help him get his car from under the couch and Bailey wants to dance ALL the time. Sometimes, I can't dance. They don't understand why mom isn't on call to them all day, and it can be overwhelming. Yet, this job is the ONLY thing I want to do. God made me to be a mom. He gave me big hips to hold my babies, long arms to cradle them to sleep and He gave me a huge heart with room for all of them. Having three children that are 4 and under is not an easy feat, but everyday is so full of adventures and surprises. Devan surprises me with how much he grows and how fast he is learning to make new noises and laugh. Caden is becoming very verbal and has an amazing sense of humor. Bailey amazes me with her compassion for ...
I may not be a pro in much, but i feel as though the Lord would like to me to full grasp the lessons of loss. Oh my word, in the last 5 years we have lost 2 pregnancies, 1 tiny baby boy, we left a job with 8 girls that we so loved at OBHC and started a new calling at SHBC only to be unexplicably fired after 3 years of faithful service. Loss. Another loss. We have so much to be thankful for, but why? Why were we humiliated and lied about? Why did we have to walk this road, we have already hurt so much. We have already given up so much and remained faithful to the Lord and His call on our lives, we didn't turn away, we didn't give up and go secular, we stayed in the ministry and close to the Lord who had always walked with us. Then... failure. We sat down in a conference room where we had been loved on and invested in. Jamie wore a blue shirt, his eyes were cold and the sparkle was gone. The love for us and our ministry was gone. The connection of three years of walking together...
I couldn't think of a creative title for this update (obviously) and I apologize for the monotony the title implies. But, today was just a regular day. Bailey was hilarious, adorable and a total hand full. Caden is still sick, I don't know what to do at this point but to wait and see if he gets worse. It's sad, really, I hate this waiting game. I just want him better. I can't feel good when my son is hurting, it's just not possible! Well, here's a funny story to lighten the mood. I was working on the computer today, and heard Caden coughing. Bailey had been sitting in my lap, so I set her on the floor and went in to see if Caden was ok. When I came back out into the hallway where our computer is, this is what I found... Yeah, luckily, Jason was at work, so I got them all put away before he got home. She's just so cute! You look at that face with those little pony tails and her cute little overalls and try to get angry, go ahead and try!... See? It's impo...
I love it! Does he have a hickey on his lip this morning? :)
ReplyDeletewhat a cutie.
ReplyDeletejust what i needed to see this morning.