Posts

Trust

Trusting God in the good times is easy, natural, it just happens. He's taking care of you, so yeah, trust. No prob.

What happens when he painfully rips you away from your church family, allows slander to come against your character and your husband and prevents you from obtaining your new home He promised you would have?

Where's the trust then? Where is the trust when the waves are taller and the anchor seems so far away?

That trust is where it's always been. In the arms of the Father, waiting for you to run to them, soak them up and bask in the warmth of who He is. He gives us peace, we trust Him. He gives us comfort, we trust Him. It isn't easy or natural, it fights against our inclination to always plan ahead, know the answers, prepare for what is coming. It isn't easy, but it is beautiful.

"Our real identity is not in the Sin we battle, but in the Savior we embrace"- Rosaria Butterfield
 "Sometimes when you're in a dark place, you think you…

Lessons in Loss

I may not be a pro in much, but i feel as though the Lord would like to me to full grasp the lessons of loss. Oh my word, in the last 5 years we have lost 2 pregnancies, 1 tiny baby boy, we left a job with 8 girls that we so loved at OBHC and started a new calling at SHBC only to be unexplicably fired after 3 years of faithful service. Loss. Another loss. We have so much to be thankful for, but why? Why were we humiliated and lied about? Why did we have to walk this road, we have already hurt so much. We have already given up so much and remained faithful to the Lord and His call on our lives, we didn't turn away, we didn't give up and go secular, we stayed in the ministry and close to the Lord who had always walked with us.
Then... failure. We sat down in a conference room where we had been loved on and invested in. Jamie wore a blue shirt, his eyes were cold and the sparkle was gone. The love for us and our ministry was gone. The connection of three years of walking together…

June

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It's June. The days are warmer, the nights are longer and our anniversary is right around the corner. It's the first time in our almost 7 year marriage, that we

have absolutely nothing planned and we are thrilled! Nothing. We want to do nothing. We want to sleep, watch movies, read books, picnic with our children and perhaps sleep some more. Why this lack-luster plan for this day to celebrate? Because our sweet marriage has gotten beautifully simple. We laugh more, we love unconditionally and fiercely, we forgive quickly and we talk. Oh we talk. Everyday with my husband, best friend and now my co-worker, is a celebration of June 10, 2006. Every night we lay down exhausted, remembering all the things we forgot to do, all the insane conversations we had with children, all the chores that got done, errands that were run, and eyes that were rolled in our general direction. There is not a single person on this entire planet that I could do this job with besides my love, and he know…

The old is gone...

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I am not who I used to be.
My whole entire world has been flipped upside down by one phone call and 7 teenage girls.
The phone call said we got the job as House Parents at Oklahoma Baptist Homes for Children.
The seven teenage girls are the girls that I take care of morning and night for 3 weeks a month.
I love them all.
Got trusted me with 3 beautiful children, and 7 amazing house daughters.
I am not who I used to be.
5 months in and I am tired, busy and overworked.
I am also happier than I have ever been in my 28 years on this planet.
They change my world, every day. They make me stronger, better, more compassionate, more aware.
They make me angry, they make me cry, they make me feel like an idiot.
They make me smile, they make me laugh so hard I can't breath, they make me proud.
When they hug me, I am changed, encouraged, filled up.
They take my breath away.
I am not who I used to be, God has made me so much more.
I am tired, I am ecstatic, I am a mother of 10.

Whew!

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Life has been beautifully busy lately! It's tiring but so much fun! Bailey's been in gymnastics for a couple months now and is really enjoying it. She's in it with one of her best friends, Channing, so it's been fun to see them do gymnastics together! She had a recital a few weeks ago and did great! She's in the preschool class so it was definitely the more adorable part of the routine!
Bailey is all the way to the left, her friend Channing is all the way on the right.
 Bailey went around and did a little routine where she showed what she could do on each of the apparatuses.  This is her on the pomal horse (sp?), she did great! She also did the bar, the balance beam, a frontward and backward roll, 3 "cartwheels" and some jumps. It was precious.
 At the end, every girl got a trophy and certificate and got to stand on top of the podium and get her picture taken. It was such a fun, special evening with my little girl. She doesn't get tons of attention …

6 Months Old

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This little guy has turned my world upside down. I love it. He smiles and laughs, he wiggles and holds his head up like a champ. He loves lying under his activity gym and kicks and kicks. He wakes up happy every morning and starts my day with bright brown eyes and 2 incredible dimples. I am so, so, in love with my Little D.

Mom

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Being a mom isn't easy. It doesn't come to you overnight, everyday brings new challenges, new questions, new concerns. Devan doesn't care if I'm tired at 5:30am and he's hungry. Caden doesn't understand why I can't get out of the shower to help him get his car from under the couch and Bailey wants to dance ALL the time. Sometimes, I can't dance. They don't understand why mom isn't on call to them all day, and it can be overwhelming.
Yet, this job is the ONLY thing I want to do. God made me to be a mom. He gave me big hips to hold my babies, long arms to cradle them to sleep and He gave me a huge heart with room for all of them. Having three children that are 4 and under is not an easy feat, but everyday is so full of adventures and surprises. Devan surprises me with how much he grows and how fast he is learning to make new noises and laugh. Caden is becoming very verbal and has an amazing sense of humor. Bailey amazes me with her compassion for …